Saturday, December 15, 2012

No Words to Speak

UPDATE - I wrote this post yesterday right after I found out about Newtown. I wasn't going to share it, but changed my mind.  This blog is to document our lives and I think the effect of this tragedy on me is a big enough event to document.

My heart is broken and I know this sounds selfish because my life will go on as normal while the lives of those affected will be changed forever. If I'm this broken about this, I cannot imagine how much more broken those personally affected must be.  It must be how I feel plus infinity.

I don’t even know what to write but I need to write something.  It’s my therapy. What kind of sickness would possess a person to get up this morning and decide to go into an elementary school and start shooting innocent children?  What kind of madness is that? 

How can we protect our children against this random craziness? We could be doing everything right and still lose them.  I pray every night that my children are protected.  It’s all I can do to feel like I have some sort of control. I’m not even making sense right now because praying for God’s protection is actually giving up control but nothing really makes sense today.  This morning I was writing about my Christmas decorations and now that seems so trivial, so petty, so pointless.

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me. Psalm 138:7

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