UPDATE - I wrote this post yesterday right after I found out about Newtown. I wasn't going to share it, but changed my mind. This blog is to document our lives and I think the effect of this tragedy on me is a big enough event to document.
My heart is broken and I know this sounds selfish because my
life will go on as normal while the lives of those affected will be changed
forever. If I'm this broken about this, I cannot imagine how much more broken those personally affected must be. It must be how I feel plus infinity.
I don’t even know what to write but I need to write
something. It’s my therapy. What kind of
sickness would possess a person to get up this morning and decide to go into an
elementary school and start shooting innocent children? What kind of madness is that?
How can we protect our children against this random
craziness? We could be doing everything right and still lose them. I pray every night that my children are
protected. It’s all I can do to feel
like I have some sort of control. I’m not even making sense right now because
praying for God’s protection is actually giving up control but nothing really
makes sense today. This morning I was
writing about my Christmas decorations and now that seems so trivial, so petty,
so pointless.
Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt
revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine
enemies, and thy right hand shall save me. Psalm 138:7
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