Another Scratch

Matthew just gave Michael another bad scratch down the whole right side of his face. It’s on the same side where Michael still has a scar from when Matthew scratched him about 2 years ago. I got so upset when I saw it that I yelled out at Matthew. Michael, being the protective big brother says to me, “Mommy, don’t yell at him. All he’s going to do is cry.” Michael hates it when his brother cries. When Matthew does not get his way and cries, big brother comes to the rescue and says, “Just give it to him.”

I’ve known for awhile that Matthew has a volatile personality (for all those who know us, we can guess who he gets that from; not the Chinese side of the family), so I sometimes bend over backwards to appease him. I think that strategy has backfired. I’m not sure how to handle him. He was so easy going until he turned 3. Everyone talks about the terrible twos, but with Matthew, it’s the terrible threes. He scratches, hits, and throws all kinds of tantrums. I think by watching me trying to accommodate Matthew, Michael has learned to do the same. For example, this morning at breakfast, Michael wanted the last box of Cocoa Rice Krispies. Matthew had a fit and started screaming that he wanted the Rice Krispies. What does Michael do? Gave Matthew the Rice Krispies.

I’m so tempted to tell Michael that if Matthew hurts him, he can do the same to Matthew. I want him to stand up to his brother and to anybody else who bullies him. So what this all boils down to is that I have been setting a bad example and I should stop. I get that. I just need to do it now, which is easier blogged than done.